have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
