I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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