I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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