i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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