i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
