508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
