Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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