Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
