i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
where are my pants?
in the oven.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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