Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
