I can text with my tongue
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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