i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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