I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
