Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
