We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
