No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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