I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
