You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
