I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
