i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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