I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
