im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize