Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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