I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
