You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
