I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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