Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
