Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
