And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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