we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
