Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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