I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
