We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
