They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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