So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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