i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
