i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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