Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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