We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
