I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
