Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
