he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You need Xanax blowdarts
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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