i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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