How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
