you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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