Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
