May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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