I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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