just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Randomize
