In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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